Helping Children Cope With Moving (Family Matters)

Helping Children Cope With Moving (Family Matters) Review

According to the Census Bureau, over six million American children move every year. For most of these youngsters, a family move, whether it is just down the block or to a strange, new city, is a difficult and trying experience that usually involves a degree of sadness, apprehension and emotional upheaval that some authors have compared to dealing with death or divorce.

For adults, moving to a new home or apartment may be an accepted fact; but for children simply moving to a new school ranks among their 20 most stressful life experiences. Furthermore, school-aged children who move to a new community often encounter no less than eight of the 42 items listed as potential stressors on “The Social Readjustment Scale,” giving them a 50% greater risk of suffering a stress-related illness if the stressors are not alleviated.

Studies of the Denver Public Schools have also demonstrated that moving during elementary school can significantly affect a child’s academic performance. In one such study, second graders who had changed schools at least twice since kindergarten scored 20% lower on achievement tests than students who had not moved. Results also pointed out a direct link between students’ moving and the likelihood of their dropping out of school. About 95% of those students who attended a single elementary, middle and high school graduated, while 68% of students who changed schools just once in 12 years graduated. Of students who moved three or more times, only 30% eventually graduated.

A survey of nearly 2,500 elementary and middle school students indicated a mix of emotions when children talked about moving. At one level, youngsters thought that moving was exciting and adventurous; yet, most shared their fears and apprehensions of having to adjust to a new school or community along with sadness at leaving behind old friends and familiar places. Their concerns also focused on the reasons for moving, the degree of difficulty they would encounter in a new classroom and their own ability to adjust to new surroundings and make new friends.

For the majority of children, many of the immediate emotional disruptions caused by moving pass with time. However, parents, educators and counselors can help children adjust more quickly and with less upset through 1) an awareness of the questions and concerns children experience when facing a move, 2) understanding and supportive discussion of feelings and fears and 3) simple preventive measures and appropriate planning before, during and after a move. Parents should also be aware of situations in which a child’s behavior indicates unusual difficulties in adjusting to a move, and which may require professional intervention.